The LT took the paperwork he fetched off the printer into the CO’s office and motioned for me to come inside. I got sent to the principals office a lot when I was in school, hell I even spent some time in front of a county judge, but this was different.

He is going to read you your rights.

Fuck.

This was as close as I had yet been to watching my life flash before my eyes. The military was all I ever wanted, and the way the two officers in front of me almost refused to look me in the eye told me that any future I may have had was on the line.

The CO took an almost fatherly tone, but not the kind that a compassionate and understanding dad may take when trying to teach his son a lesson. No, this was the sort of tone that told me I was about to get my ass chapped. He leaned over his desk, I imagine he was pissed that he had to deal with a delinquent in his midst that threatened his company’s reputation and probably somehow his OER.

“Before I ask you any questions, you must understand your rights.”

As he went off explaining how anything that I said could be used against me, that this was a chance for me to make a statement in the course of a formal military 15-6 investigation into the incident in question, my mind drifted off to thinking about what had happened that brought me to this situation.

I watched as several senior NCO’s and my Battlion XO check every single Stryker in the motor pool, save for my own, that like the rest of my platoon was being deep cleaned for turn in to a civilian contractor. Every vehicle they found unlocked, they took equipment out of and threw it in the motor pool. This was the type of stupidity I had come to expect from leaders in the Army, and to this day I can count the number of commissioned and noncommissioned officers I respect on both hands, partially as a result of this baffoonery.

As these dullards continued their tantrum down Alpha companies line of vics, I snapped a few photos and sent them in to U.S. Army WTF Moments, a pretty popular Facebook page that chronicled the stupidity we as soldiers endure at the hands of people who wouldn’t make it as the assistant manager of a Starbucks. I didn’t think anything of it, kind of like how people use Snapchat to show their friends shit they encounter throughout their day. I went to sleep that night completely unaware of the shitstorm I had created.

Much to my surprise, as I strolled in just as the PERSTAT was being tallied before PT, I noticed my platoon was gathered around the company commander. He asked who had sent the photos in to USAWTFM. I quickly deduced something was up, and instead of letting my platoon potentially get fucked up after several months of non-stop training and bullshit taskings, I raised my hand and fessed up to being to the dumb-ass photographer.

But what I didn’t know at the time was somewhere was a really pissed off Colonel who wanted my ass in a sling.

(2/3)